My Most Embarrassing Acne Story

embarrassed about acne skindeepstory.com

I got this idea from a forum on acne.org.  I told this story there, but thought it was so gruesome, it was worthy of retelling here on the old blogaroo.

My most embarrassing acne story…ugh, I don’t even want to think about it again because it was so tragic.  But, here goes.

A few years ago when my acne was severe with lots of whiteheads, I was working really long hours for my boss.  We worked out of her house.  My skin was so bad that if I felt a pimple in the morning, I knew it would turn into a full fledged giant honking whitehead by the end of the day.  On this particular day we were working so late that she insisted I go inside and eat dinner with her family.  I knew I had one pimple in particular that was in full fledged honking mode right on my cheek kind of by my mouth.  Every time I smiled I could feel it.  I really didn’t want to be that close up and personal with her family while I looked like that.  But, I couldn’t really get out of it.

Embarrassing Pimples skindeepstory.comHere is where it gets really embarrassing.  Throughout dinner I tried to ignore my face and the especially terrible whitehead which actually hurt at that point.  I remember we were just talking and eating dinner and her 3 year old son said “you have a booboo.”  I immediately knew that the eating and talking had actually caused my pimple to pop!  Right at the dinner table.  O.M.Gaaaaaaawwwwlly!!

I don’t even remember how I handled it.  I think I just got up, went to the bathroom to get a tissue to blot the blood, and tried not to actually cry in front of anyone.  I felt like not only did I completely embarrass myself, but I probably spoiled their dinner.  No one wants potatoes with a side of zit.

Ugh…that was not fun to re-live.  But, I hope you folks enjoyed.  Oh the plague of acne!!

I will say, despite how much I complain and get depressed about my skin, I am so grateful it has humbled me and made me a much better person.  If you can’t laugh at your problems then all you’ll do fester in your own self loathing.  I try to choose the former but I’ll admit, sometimes I just need to fester.

Do you have an embarrassing acne story you want to share?!  Let me know in the comments below.

xo

Sierra

Daily Affirmation: My skin makes me stronger and wiser every day.

The Seven Day Mirror Challenge Results (For REAL This Time)

skindeepstory.com i hate how i look

Hello Beauties,

Geez it’s been a while since my last post.  Nearly a month!  Sorry.  I just haven’t felt the inspiration to write this post and I don’t want this blog to ever feel like a chore.  It just wouldn’t be authentic.

So, I finally did the Seven Day Mirror Challenge!

As you may know, I kind of failed the last time I tried.  I felt so bad about my appearance that I literally didn’t want to look in the mirror, much less look in it and say nice things about myself.  But I followed through with my promise and you know what?  I was right.  A huge shift happened.

skindeepstory.com how to love the mirrorThe hard part the first few days was being genuine.  I’d look into the mirror and say “Sierra, you are beautiful” but my ego would shout back at me “Liar!”  I kind of felt bipolar in the beginning of the challenge, so I decided I wouldn’t say things if I didn’t really mean them.  So those first few days I said things like “I am really smart,” or “I’m a very loyal friend,” or “I can cook up a delicious stack of pancakes.”  I believed these compliments wholeheartedly and was happy to look myself in the eyes and point them out.

After a few days, I started to get more comfortable with the exercise and found myself saying things like “I have really pretty  hands” or “I love the color of my eyes.”  I started playing around with the idea that maybe I have physical traits that are…gulp…actually BEAUTIFUL!

By the end of the week I started to look forward to my daily mirror ritual.  Finding new qualities about myself that I could actually be proud of was really eye opening.  I have spent so much time focusing on all the imperfections that I wasn’t seeing the beauty.  It was like tunnel vision.  The last day I found myself listing even more than 5 positive traits – and they were both physical and non physical compliments.  I have great cheekbones and a warm smile.  I’m very creative and I love making people feel good about themselves.  And yes, I do make a mean pancake breakfast :)

When it was all done, I could actually look into the mirror, red dry pimple-filled skin and all, and genuinely say “I am beautiful, inside and out.”  Such a huge shift in thinking…I still look into the mirror on occasion and repeat that affirmation.  The trick is to really mean it!

skindeepstory.com keep calm and love yourselfThere’s one more thing I wanted to share…and this is the best part!  As the week progressed I noticed a dramatic change in my skin.  I went from having three new cystic pimples a day, to literally NO NEW ACNE!  I remembered a documentary I watched recently called “What The Bleep Do We Know” (which you can watch for free HERE).  It’s all about how our mind creates our own reality.  Not just how we feel about ourselves, but actual physical changes that occur solely from a change in thinking.

Full disclosure: I have been on spironolactone, birth control and medical grade topicals for several months and it’s certainly possible that the change in my skin was simply the medications finally starting to work on my acne.  But, I like to think there’s more to it.  I finally saw my own beauty even through my pimples.  I think that may have been the lesson the universe was trying to give me.  It’s like a twisted version of Beauty and the Beast.  I had to first find the inner beauty to achieve the outer beauty.  Cheesy?  Maybe.  But it’s the honest to goodness truth.

It’s been a few weeks since the challenge and I really haven’t looked back.  My skin continues to improve in strides, but more importantly, I like myself again.  I haven’t felt that way in ages.  I’m so happy I completed the Seven Day Mirror Challenge and I really hope you try it too.

xo

Sierra

Daily Affirmation:  I am beautiful, inside and out.

The 7 Day Mirror Challenge Results

skin deep story acne mirror challenge

I pride myself on being completely open and honest on my blog.  It’s the reason I started it in the first place.  I noticed that because of my skin, I was hiding.  I felt like my skin was a secret and every day I did my best to hide it and avoid the topic altogether.

So in the spirit of openness, here’s the truth.  I didn’t complete my own 7 Day Mirror Challenge!  When I started it, I had such a hard time looking in the mirror.  Just looking at myself has been a struggle!  I have been avoiding the mirror for so long and now I have some sort of Pavlov’s Dog action happening.  I associate looking into it with complete debilitating emotional pain, no matter what I see.  Until attempting this challenge I had no idea how much I’ve been avoiding myself.

I would perform my mirror challenge for a couple of days, then kind of put it off, then try again, and then somehow I would always just “forget.”  My holistic beauty coach, Paula Lacobara (look her up because she is fantastic) would call this “resistance.”  Oh yeah.  Whenever I put something off, or even forget it, it’s ALWAYS some form of inner resistance.

Even now when my skin is starting to clear, I still have such a hard time letting go of my negative feelings about it.  Simply looking at myself in the mirror is a challenge, much less saying nice things about myself!

how to love yourself with acne skin deep storySo, I’m starting fresh today.  7 days of looking at myself, seeing the good things, and maybe the not so good things, but without judgement.  Just pure observation.  Observing what I see, feel and think, and noticing my ego’s patterns of criticism.  I’m a little nervous about starting this up again, but this time I have a new determination.  I even put reminders in my calendar and drew a heart on my mirror so I can’t “forget.”

Wish me luck, and if you connect with this, try your OWN mirror challenge!

All you have to do is take 5 minutes every day to look in the mirror and say 5 positive things about yourself – they can be physical or non physical traits.  Be sure you look deep into your eyes, maybe even your soul, speak out loud, and really mean it!

When action meets intention, miracles happen!

Today’s affirmation: I am filled with hope, inspiration, wisdom and conviction!

Would love to hear your thoughts!  Tell me what you think or just say hello in the comments below :)

The 7 Day Mirror Challenge

acne and the mirror

Sorry I have been absent for so long.  Reflecting is something I’ve been avoiding lately.  Emotionally, and physically as well.

When did the mirror become my enemy?  As a woman, I feel this innate need to be feminine and beautiful.  I used to admire my own reflection.  Now when I catch myself in the mirror I obsess, picking out every flaw, especially my acne.

mirror mirror on the wallI have given an inanimate object all the power.  The mirror can completely make or break my day, and more often than not lately, it has been the latter.  I am preoccupied with a physical perfection that is high by any standards, and I know that any time I see what I look like I am just going to feel disappointed and hopeless.

At this point I’ve started avoiding mirrors altogether.  I will consciously keep my head down when I am in a room with one.  Even just knowing that my reflection exists makes me anxious, whether I see it or not.

This is true on another level as well.  I have really been avoiding looking within to face all of my negative feelings.  I try to preoccupy myself during all waking hours, but my thoughts always seem to find me.

Unfortunately, I just can’t keep hiding from myself.  It’s impossible.

What I realize is that in order to truly face the mirror, I must look past my inner critic – my ego.  When I look into the mirror I am not seeing the real me.  My ego takes over and all I can perceive are my insecurities.  It’s time to take the power back because when it comes down to it, I get to choose how I feel about myself.

Take a stand with me and try The 7 Day Mirror Challenge.  For one week, I am going to look in the mirror every morning and list five things I admire about myself, physical or otherwise.  It’s one small shift that I’m betting will have a big impact!

happy without acne

I’ll let you know how the challenge goes in a week, and I hope you do the same.  Comment below and let me know 5 things you really admire about yourself! 

Affirmation: I am beautiful, inside and out.

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