I remember reading Louise Hay’s Heal Your Body A-Z: The Mental Causes for Physical Illness and the Way to Overcome Them
(By the way, I love Louise Hay and secretly wish she was my wise and loving grandmother. I bet she bakes a mean apple fritter… but I digress.)
So, the hardest thing for me, as a perfectionist, has been “coming out.” The only people that know the severity of my acne are my parents. They are really supportive and I am so grateful for that. But for some reason I have intense shame about this imperfection. I have always strived to be beautiful, thin, successful and basically perfect, and can’t imagine letting people in on the big secret. I am anything BUT perfect.
When you have severe acne, there is NO way to hide it. Believe me, I’ve tried. I immediately know if a room has a dimmer switch. I scout out soft and dark lighting. I have grown my hair out and styled it in such a way to try and cover my face as much as possible. I try to only hang out in social situations at night when it’s darker. If I have a “good side” then I will make sure I am always facing that side when I talk to you. I avoid mirrors at all costs, and I’m just waiting for burglar-style ski masks to come back into fashion. Do you think they ever will?
If I were giving advice to someone like me, I would say “Wake up! Your whole life is passing you by because you are obsessed with the impossible task of being perfect. You are chasing an unrealistic goal.” Easier said than done.
On the advice of a total stranger on acne.org (but someone who I am very thankful to have met) I decided to let go of the perfect facade for a minute and I “came out” to my sister yesterday. I told her that I have PCOS and acne that has been ruling my life. As soon as I said it, I realized there was nothing to be scared about. She was so understanding and non judgmental. I let her know that I am not a perfect sister and that right now I am 28, I have acne, I lost my job and I live with my parents. And you know what? It felt good to tell her about it and just laugh. And laugh I did! I mean, this is kind of hilarious…
Yes, this is probably the low point in my life, but with a little change of perspective, and a little loosening of those perfectionistic tendencies, I can see that humor and the gift that is my situation. Acne is teaching me something new every day. I let my need for perfectionism create unhappy and unhealthy situations at work, in my relationships, in my social life, family life, and personal emotional world.
Little by little, I am letting go. Life is not about being perfect. If you live that way you are constantly dismissing what’s right in front of you: The beautiful imperfections that make up your story.
Daily Affirmation: I love my imperfections.
Are YOU a perfectionist? Check out this article about the Top Traits of Perfectionism. This was quite an eye opener for me…
Love to hear your feedback. Feel free to comment below!
skindeepstory 
*sigh* Oh acne, what a troubled relationship we have. Chin up! Acne is natural. I used to be really embarrassed by my acne’d skin, but I realized that the people who really matter really don’t mind it.
That’s fantastic advice stressoutstudent. And I know in my heart it’s true. It’s just difficult sometimes to believe it… Hope you aren’t too stressed out! And thanks for commenting on my blog 🙂
Hello! Very nice blog. I am about 10 years older than you, married with 2 kids and have had acne since 10 years old! I have been on accutane 3 times, the last being in 1996, and before that tried everything that was popular at the time, retina, antibiotics, OTC stuff, differin, bcp you name it, bcp’s worked best but as an adult i can’t take them because they raise my blood pressure now. I got somewhat of a reprieve when i was nursing my twins for a few years but now acne is back with a vengeance. definitely hormonal and doctors were always undecided about whether i had PCOS as i have regular periods and fertile enough. i am also have a healthy weight so that doesn’t help me much. i am starting spiro tomorrow at a very low dose but hope to move it up after a while. we’ll see how it goes. I’m proud of you for not being ashamed, i wish they had blogs and forums when i was younger, i think it would have been great support. I’ll keep reading, so keep writing 🙂
Hi Stacy! I loved reading your comment. I can’t tell you how much I agree with that last statement. Blogs and forums have been a blessing for me. It’s imperative to reach out, get support and recognize that you are NOT alone dealing with acne.
As much as I’ve read up on PCOS, what I gather is that there is no one-size-fits-all symptom profile. You don’t even need to have cysts on your ovaries to be diagnosed with it. I’ve also read that spironolactone can be very effective for acne whether or not you have PCOS.
I have a lot of faith that this will work for you! As someone who has tried absolutely everything under the sun for my acne, nothing truly worked until I found spironolactone.
Stay in touch! I’d love to hear about your progress with spiro and I’m always hear with an open heart if you need it 🙂
Loved this 🙂 I wish there were ski masks like that in fashion too…but sadly I do not think it will work out 😛 haha.
LOL – Thanks Stacey!! So happy to see you hanging out on my blog 🙂 You’re the best!
I love my imperfections. Good affirmation!