My Most Embarrassing Acne Story

I got this idea from a forum on acne.org.  I told this story there, but thought it was so gruesome, it was worthy of retelling here on the old blogaroo.

My most embarrassing acne story…ugh, I don’t even want to think about it again because it was so tragic.  But, here goes.

A few years ago when my acne was severe with lots of whiteheads, I was working really long hours for my boss.  We worked out of her house.  My skin was so bad that if I felt a pimple in the morning, I knew it would turn into a full fledged giant honking whitehead by the end of the day.  On this particular day we were working so late that she insisted I go inside and eat dinner with her family.  I knew I had one pimple in particular that was in full fledged honking mode right on my cheek kind of by my mouth.  Every time I smiled I could feel it.  I really didn’t want to be that close up and personal with her family while I looked like that.  But, I couldn’t really get out of it.

Here is where it gets really embarrassing.  Throughout dinner I tried to ignore my face and the especially terrible whitehead which actually hurt at that point.  I remember we were just talking and eating dinner and her 3 year old son said “you have a booboo.”  I immediately knew that the eating and talking had actually caused my pimple to pop!  Right at the dinner table.  O.M.Gaaaaaaawwwwlly!!

I don’t even remember how I handled it.  I think I just got up, went to the bathroom to get a tissue to blot the blood, and tried not to actually cry in front of anyone.  I felt like not only did I completely embarrass myself, but I probably spoiled their dinner.  No one wants potatoes with a side of zit.

Ugh…that was not fun to re-live.  But, I hope you folks enjoyed.  Oh the plague of acne!!

I will say, despite how much I complain and get depressed about my skin, I am so grateful it has humbled me and made me a much better person.  If you can’t laugh at your problems then all you’ll do fester in your own self loathing.  I try to choose the former but I’ll admit, sometimes I just need to fester.

Do you have an embarrassing acne story you want to share?!  Let me know in the comments below.

xo

Sierra

Daily Affirmation: My skin makes me stronger and wiser every day.

When Diet Just Doesn’t Do The Trick for Acne (And When It Kind Of Does)

I’ll try to make this post brief, though I can probably go on forever.

I have tried EVERY diet.  I’ve been vegan, raw, pescatarian, paleo, and vegetarian.  I’ve followed the Body Ecology Diet, PINK Method, Beauty Detox Diet, Zone Diet, 10 Week Transformation, Clear Skin Prescription, and several version of the Candida Diet (these people just can’t agree about what keeps the yeasties away).  I’ve done the Master Cleanse (worst idea ever) and had a colonic (not the worst idea ever…) among other cleansing techniques.  I’ve gone all organic, no sugar (not even fruit), no caffeine, no legumes, no starches, no oil, no chocolate (yikes!), no gluten, no alcohol, no dairy, no random things that the candida diet won’t let you have (I mean, no tomatoes or brown rice – really?!) and basically no FUN.

And you know what?  I still have acne.

At some point I need to realize that diet just won’t cut it!  It is clear to me there is something going on in my body that cannot be controlled by what I eat.  THAT is a scary thought.  I feel POWERLESS.

I know I’m not the only acne sufferer that has spent hours nose-deep on google and discovered that they have twelve different dis-eases and that there are 14 thousand different ways to cure all of them.  I’m convinced I have candida, leaky gut, adrenal fatigue, insulin resistance and PCOS.  But…I haven’t actually been tested.

So, rather than feel overwhelmed and hopeless and start attempting to follow every diet recommended for all of the above diagnoses (which would leave me eating nothing but celery sticks and chia all day) I am going to take the plunge to get tested.  It’s time I stop living in fear of the unknown and creating my own hopeless future because I have no idea how to treat an unknown dis-ease.  THIS is how I can take back my POWER.

In the meantime, I plan on using a little tried and true common sense when it comes to my diet.  I know that no matter what dis-ease I may or may not have sugar, dairy, soy and gluten are not going to help.   I am making vegetables the star on my plate and will be sure to drink plenty of water throughout the day.  That, to me, is a common sense diet.  It’s not too restrictive (maybe it sounds like it, but this is coming from a girl who lived off of nothing but kale and quinoa for weeks) and can only help my situation.  Plus, I can still eat THESE Chewy Chocolate Cookies (how good do those look?!).

The truth is, acne can be complicated and sometimes diet just won’t cut it.  Rather than allowing this news to spin my life out of control, I am doing my best to remain optimistic and get down to the bottom of it.  And in the meantime, the best thing I can do is stay healthy, balanced and empowered.

Affirmation: I am powerful and fearless.

P.S. I have three “likes” on my posts!!  Are people in web-land really hanging out here?  Yippee and welcome!  Feel free to say hello and share your thoughts.

New Year’s Resolution

I’ve been ODing on The Love Vitamin videos (I really love this girl – see below for more info) and feeling guilty about all the poor diet decisions I’ve made these last few days just waiting for inspiration to kick in so I could write this New Year’s Resolution post.  I don’t want to make the same old “I’ll eat better” or “I’ll exercise every day” resolution.  This type of restriction causes more harm than good and ultimately implodes on itself.  So…how do I make a powerful resolution that I can actually keep?

By simplifying.  With all of the challenges I am facing trying to change my lifestyle, my mindset, my physical and emotional health, and, of course, my skin, I found one simple tool that I can implement to really make a difference in ALL of these areas.

I am always able to see the big picture after I’ve done the damage.  I’ll binge on a bunch of sugar or go overboard with exercise or procrastinate at work until I just end up stressed and working late.  Later on I can see that I made a poor decision based on emotional stress, but at the time I can’t stop myself.  But this is exactly it.  I need to STOP.  If I can just recognize in the moment when I am about to do something I might regret and then, here’s the best part – STEP AWAY FOR A MINUTE – then I can lose that negative momentum and make a better choice.

So my resolution this year is to hit the pause button. Whenever my actions are not reflecting my goals I will literally STOP in my tracks, walk out of the room if necessary, and pick up my journal, breathe, pour a mug of hot tea, or do something else that will calm, soothe and bring perspective into my decisions.  I might decide not to eat that extra slice of cake OR I might decide that it is okay.  Either way, I am at least doing so mindfully.

That’s it!  It sounds simple, but I know it is an incredibly powerful resolution.  I’m truly excited to put this into practice.

What’s your resolution?

P.S. Here’s my favorite Love Vitamin video – this girl has been such an inspiration for me on my journey and I really appreciate all of her tips and encouragement: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-KDbq2psZE

Distraction from the Present

In seeking balance these last few days I’m really beginning to notice how much I rely on distractions.  Silence is not something I handle well.  I always have the radio or the television or a movie or a book or anything besides silence.  When I really consider this, the scary idea occurs that I don’t want to be alone with myself.  This reminds me a lot of Eckart Tolle.

In my effort to distract myself I’ve been listening to The Power of Now audiobook (which I absolutely recommend).  Tolle’s turning point came when he hit rock bottom and thought “I can’t live with myself anymore.”  Suddenly he discovered that this statement itself assumes two people.  The “I” and the “self” that he cannot live with.  It seems only one of these people is the true him and the other is just an ego.  I’ll skip through a lot of the explanation here and just jump to Tolle’s hypothesis – that all of our problems (mental, emotional, physical and spiritual) are because we associate ourselves with our ego – the mind.  Now, hang with me here, I know it’s getting kind of meta.

In The Power of Now Tolle suggests we simply pay attention to that rambling id we call the mind.  He says we’ve actually become addicted to thinking.  It’s an addiction because we feel powerless against it and it’s negatively impacting our lives.  The act of simply paying attention to when we begin thinking of anything besides the present moment helps us take back the power from these negative thoughts.  What he is saying is that when we are truly present, negative thoughts do not exist.  Ask yourself “what is lacking at this very moment?”  The answer is always nothing.

So…what does this have to do with me and my skin?  Um.  My instinct tells me it has a lot to do with.  I’m still working on the exact connection.  Here are some thoughts.

I’m compelled to constantly distract myself because I’m doing exactly what Eckart Tolle says – I’m protecting myself from my harmful thinking patterns.  These thinking patterns create anxiety, cortisol, and eventually lead to an imbalance in my hormones and my skin.  I’m avoiding my pessimistic thought patterns in a way that is unsustainable, and perhaps not super healthy.  My thoughts are my addiction and I feel like if I can’t stop them, I can at least temporarily redirect them to a movie or story.  This in itself isn’t such a bad thing – but when I become addicted to it, as I have in the last few days – it becomes a crutch.

Instead, I shall try to find more of a balance.  Instead of distracting myself from my thoughts, at least part of the day I will take Tolle’s advice and simply be present.  There’s no way to be anxious if I am present.  I’m only worried about the past or the future.  But never the now.  And the only thing I will ever have – the only thing anyone will ever have – is the now.

Intention: To cut down on the distractions and focus on being fully present.

Affirmation: I set healthy and loving boundaries with myself and others.